If I were able to choose a superpower for myself, it would be to not NEED you….. I would qualify that superpower by saying that I would have the ability to embrace you when I wanted to, but I would never NEED your embrace.
We have a love/hate relationship.
I love curling up in freshly laundered sheets, laying my head on a cool pillow, feeling the weight of the comforter, and slipping into your arms. I love falling into you unexpectedly on the couch, a DVD running until it gets stuck on the home screen. I love waking up and glancing at the clock and realizing I can stay tangled in my sheets or another hour. I love how you seem to fix most problems – an achy body, a pounding head, a body wracked with tension. Finally, I love the dreams you bring. They are often vivid beyond belief and highlight the best moments of my life or expose my deepest desires.
I hate how much time you seem to waste. I could do so much more with my life if your company was not required. I hate rolling over, seeing that our time is almost up, and dreading leaving your embrace. I hate how the desire for you creeps up on me at the worst times and slaughters my productivity. You taunt me with the promise of relief from aches and pains, but if I don’t balance you exactly right, you make both worse. Finally, I hate the dreams you bring. They are often vivid beyond belief and highlight the worst moments of my life or expose my deepest desires.
So, my sweet torturer, I shall start my life anew tomorrow and attempt to control you. I will track and analyze you, control my physical environment, attempt to control my mental environment, and give into you just a little too often. I will seek to control you, fail every once and a while, but will work to incorporate you into my life in a healthy manner.
With Frustrating Love,
Your Tormented Servant
We all have trials…..conquer them like a warrior scholar.