Dear Mr. Officer

Dear Officer,

I’m sorry I was just snotty with you. While I was not speeding, I did try to lawyer you, which was rude. Here’s why I did it

1) This was a stop and sniff. You wanted to see if I’d been drinking so you made something up. I farking hate that. It’s a violation of the constitution.

2) I asked you why you pulled me over and you were defensive and cocky. Not cool. You should not have any problem informing a citizen of why you stopped them.

3) Don’t refer to it as “your city limits”. It’s my city too.

4) The bright spotlight is annoying and unsafe. I couldn’t see your cruiser paint or license plate and I had to ask you to turn so I could even see your uniform. I’m a lone female. I should be able to ID you immediately, which is impossible with that damn light.

I appreciate the warning, though I’m a little disappointed that we won’t be seeing each other in court.

And yes, I know I was making a BS legal argument but you stepped on my chi. That was expressly forbidden today.

For the record, I did say thank you and have a good night.

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